Maya- A short story

Maya- Should I say it is new short story I penned down? I really do not know! She is just there in my mind, in my thoughts & she is expressed in my words.  She is somewhere in crowd around us, but still she stands out. She knows that she is not perfect, but then she admits it. I admire her, coz she dare to listen to her soul.

                                                  

 C & C are welcome 

Maya

“Maya, please don’t test my patience, I want you to be with me, and you can’t miss this occasion. It is in my honor. You should to be part of my success, or are you jealous?”- Tarun is shouting with his scornful expressions. It made Maya exceptionally irritate, yet she doesn't react. She knew, her response will exacerbate things. She replied in a composed manner.

“Tarun, I wish, I could join the party, however appears to be hard to me today. I need to finish a task. I hope you understand it. I am working on this job, just about for the last entire week and I got an awesome idea for the same todayI have to finish the same today itself.”

“Maya, I don’t know anything, you are coming with me right now. Don’t spoil my mood. You know it very well, your absence will create a gossip about our married life. Now I am a celeb & such things are noted quickly. And please don’t tell me about your assignments. Is it more important to you? I have told you a thousand times to leave this job. Why are you doing such mediocre job? I am earning enough money. Just chill. We don’t need your job anymore”

“But, there is a deadline, it’s a creative job, not that simple, especially as a time bound exercise”- Maya is still having patience in her voice & trying to convince her husband.

“What a crap!!! What creativity you talking about Maya, you just work in a local advertisement agency and you call it creativity, You can finish it tomorrow also. Now, no excuses. You are coming”

Maya got the message with his words & expressions. She is trying to convince her husband, but she realized that, ‘Tarun- a celeb” is talking to her, not her husband. She also wanted to avoid all the gossip, moreover, wanted to be part of his success. She got ready in next 15-20 mins

“Let’s go, Tarun”- Maya

“Maya, you are impossible. How many times I have told you to wear something classy, exclusive and you are still …..”

“Tarun, this Saree is one of the best from my wardrobe & it’s your favorite color too. I like the way I dress up. I don’t want any change. I am, what I am”

Maya knows it well that, it’s not about her wardrobe, her looks, which make her a women, she is. The words are just slipped, out of frustration. Tarun’s next reaction is, only to call her “Stubborn”.

Maya entered the party with Tarun, it was a great party, and she mumbled “Traun deserve this", she felt a little better, she is also an artist & she is the one who has witnessed his journey as an artist, his struggle, his style of paintings, his growth, his tears, frustration everything. “I am happy for him”, she whispered to herself.

“Hello, beautiful lady,”- Sanjay

“Sanju, who else can be this.. How are you?”

Sanjay is a good friend of Tarun and Maya

“Me doing great, where is the guest of honor?”- Sanjay

“He was here only”, and Maya started searching for Tarun, she could locate him easily, and she looked at Sanjay. Tarun is conversing with Nisha, his greatest fan. Nisha is middle aged, attractive lady belonging to the high class society. Nisha has special affection for tarun & she never tried to hide this truth. Maya very well knows that her husband is smart enough to understand Nisha’s feelings and expectations from him, yet he intentionally ignores it. After all, he is not at the suffering end. He is not being hurt, in fact Nisha has always helped him to add fame and glamor to his life.

Only once, Maya has talked to Tarun about Nisha and his relationship; but the conversation was pointless and unending. He said that he is not in love with Nisha however, he does not want to avoid her. After that day, they never discuss this topic. Tarun has been constantly occupied with his work, exhibitions, world tours, seminars and with his business meetings cum parties. Maya always kept her away from all of these. She always keen about his work, gives her frank opinion, by one means or another she has realized that no one is at receiving end. Maya is the one who has kept the conversation live in their relationship.

Sanjay can read Maya's mind,

“Oh come on Maya, they are just friends. He deserves so much of attention as a world famous painter. Don’t be so jealous, possessive, be open minded. Come on, this much attention is acceptable”

“Sanjay, do you really think, I am jealous of his successes, popularity and all? Whtat's more, would you really trying to say that I am narrow minded? I am just expecting little loyalty, & love in our relationship. I understand relations, aren’t you & me are close friend?. But Nisha and Tarun.... Do they also share, I mean, nowadays I feel that Tarun is also involved in nisha. It is just not friendship. I heard that they stayed together for the last Europe trip. Traun even didn't let me know that he met her there. You know, we never had to hide anything from each other. If he himself would have let me know this, I would have not thought......”

“Maya, don’t be so upset. Such healthy friendship and relationships are very common in society nowadays. I really don't know about their last Europe trip. But don’t you think that, Tarun deserves such attention from people around him, he knows how to handle it. He is successful, rich, handsome, charming fellow and eminent artist too.”-

“And don’t forget he is my husband too”- Maya

“I understand. Maya, does it really matter a lot, if they have come across such intimate moment, I mean sometimes, it’s just the moment. You know, how the artist has his mood swings and always in search of inspiration. Tarun is impulsive, you are well known about this fact. If he had such incidences once or twice in his life, just impulsively, then you should forgive him. Try and understand, she is beautiful, attractive, one of his greatest fans, & client too, so they could have been meeting frequently and might have come across such circumstances … you should understand dear, that’s why I asked you to be open minded. He travels almost alone every time, so perhaps he must be feeling forlorn without you.”

“Ah, lingering about the words, & the truth of the matter is unrevealed. I just asked you a simple question, about their relationship, I didn’t ask you to guide me about my reaction on your answer”-

“No”- Sanjay

“What?”- Maya

“Answer to your question Maya. He only loves you as wife, trust me. He will never think of separation. At the same time, he has to maintain some relationships in society. In today’s world, you can't get the things just by putting forth a strong effort, you should be able to market it. It’s all called public relations and we have to be sometimes part of it. I think, you need to spare some time with each other. Don’t stretch it that it will …..Anyways. Why don’t you quit your job and spend time with him. You can join him for his exhibitions & tours, you can easily manage it, as you are a good artist & he recognizes that too. You are undoubtedly a good companion, he loves you being around him. Did you really forget your crazy days? ”

“No I recollect each minute, every moment we spend together good or sad, whatever. Thank you for the suggestion,. But, I am surprise with your suggestion of quitting job. You have seen everything about the two of us, me and Tarun and everything about just me and just him. And Sanjay when he is not here, I also feel alone, but no excuse...”- Maya is truly feeling low, some way or another she is trying to control her tears.

“I think you should talk to him. Sort out the differences. Let’s finish the dinner. He is in good mood, have word with him”

“I want you also to be with us, Sanjay”

“No. Look Maya. It’s all about you both, husband and wife. I am always of opinion that, only husband and wife knows what's happening between them. What is the reality, intensity and necessity of their bond with each other? A couple, with lots of difference of opinions can be a happy couple and on the other hand, always smiling –goody couple, may have some underwater current for the separation. Its better you guys will talk to each other”

“Sanjay, please. I need you to be there, I need your moral support, and I want someone who can understand both the sides”

“Both the sides? You are talking as though, you have already made a decision. Don’t tell me that you have made up your mind and you are leaving him. Think about it once again. I don’t think that, he is in serious relationship with her. He is not even thinking about separation. Trust me.”

“Sanjay, he is not thinking about me as well”.

“Maya, don’t stretch, try to adjust.”

“Adjust? I thought, I was doing likewise for last 20 years, the moment I committed for this relationship, and adjusting the circumstances unfailingly.”

“Alright, alright.. Calm down. Just go and freshen up. I will ask him to join us for dinner”

Sanjay, Tarun, Maya had dinner. Nisha was also with them all the time. She was openly flirting with Tarun. Maya felt that Tarun, is trying to keep distance with that woman, may be coz, of her presence. Maya knows of that “the woman”, is also part of their artist community and she is a struggling artist. Maya hate people like her, who use each other for their personal benefits.

Maya, Tarun and Sanjay left the place and Maya chose to be on “Driving Seat”. She played, their most loved music album, by Kishoritai. Sanjay felt that she played a most loved CD, may be a decent sign and may be their discussion will end on a happy note. Sanjay get down from car, at his residence. Maya and Tarun also reached home. They just entered and Maya started the conversation,

“I want to talk to you, Tarun.”

“Not now, pls I am so tired “- Tarun replied.

“Now or never Tarun, you decide”

“Maya..”

“Yes, Tarun, you want me to quit the job, right?”

“Yes, you don’t need to do the same now. But is this a do or die situation as you want to discuss it right away... anyways, yes I am repeating again leave that job, and we don't need it anymore”

“Then, I have left, I have already put down the papers. And one more thing there is no pending assignments with me. I just told you the same today, to get your reaction. Look Tarun, I am also an Artist. I am professionally qualified, as well as working professionally for my passion and also earning for home. It hurts, when you take my job so casually. It’s also an artistic expression, even you thought it is mediocre. It is also creative job in different way and a good artist should always respect another artist”, she continued,

“I had responsibilities on my shoulders in our relationships, I was the only earning member. I wanted to keep you away from all commercial world and I want you to an eminent painter. I thought you are better than me and you should be given a chance to make it the best. I thought that if you will grow as an artist, I am included in the same.”

“Maya, you are always a part of my success. I know you have been a great support throughout my journey. I am not denying the fact. I am not understanding what is going on in your mind?”

“Tarun, my guruji always used to say that your soul is reflected in your art. He always insisted his students to be a good human being first, he was always honest and loyal to his art. There were the days, I used to feel proud about you. Your art was immaculate as your soul was. I thought you will be different than others, when you will be at the top. How can you be with such double faced people? You started being diplomatic. Actually, you do not need any Nisha or Maya to promote your art. Good work is always appreciated, it gives you money, fame and moreover satisfaction.”

“We are talking about us. Let us not diverse the conversation. Nisha is just my friend & client. Don’t you know that?”- Tarun

“Yes, you have told me this before, but you have to admit it, you guys are using each other for your vested interests though you don’t accept the truth. I don’t mind her to be your friend and client too, I just want you to tell her that lets just be friends. Don’t be diplomatic like her, dare to say.

Tarun, somehow I came to know that you were staying together in your last Europe tour. Yes It was hurting, however to know it from another person is all the more stinging. Why did you hide it from me? If you would have told me that you met accidently there, I would have believed your words.”

“Maya, I am sorry. It just happened and I wanted to tell you about this. But I was feeling so guilty, I did not even dare to ...”- Tarun

“Tarun, let me talk to you today, whatever is in my mind, I want to share. Just listen to me today. You know I always feel, a physical relation is a form of pure love& affection. Whenever, we have been close to each other, it is always demand of soul, mind and body, it is always an expression of love & care. If some impulsive moment had come in your life, and if it had happened possibly, I would have accepted it. But then, I realize that it was never impulsive between you and her, it is always calculative. You guys have you own interests in this relationship. You both are selfish in this relationship and using each other. Either of you, will realize it, someday. There will be a day, when you will on a way to search a genuine love and art, don't get lost then.”

Tarun is in trying to talked to Maya,

“Maya, I mean I know, it happened, simply happened. I promise you, it won’t happen again. I need you, pls do not even think to leave me for this. I know, I have committed a great mistake. I always wanted you to be happy. I wanted you to adapt a lavish lifestyle now, I can afford to present you the same. I remember our struggling days. Our days have just started Maya. Pleases stay back, I really need you”

“There you are, you need me. Just ask yourself once, is it possible for you to respect me, as wife and as an artist too. Can we feel & share the same selfless bond between us. I never felt dejected to practice my art for earning bread and butter for us. I am proud of what I am today. I have been appreciated for my work several times, but you always overlooked it.

It made me upset, when all my sketches, paintings were brought down from the walls of our home. I understand that you don’t want to display them in living room, but at least in our bedroom, we could have….”

“Maya, I didn’t do it purposefully, I thought …”

“You thought, you are better, you have your brand. But you never thought that it’s not an art gallery, it’s our home.”- Maya

“Why didn’t you tell me this before? Such a small thing and you are carrying in your mind, not fair. I never wanted to hurt your ego.”

“That’s what dear. Its small thing for you, not for me. & it not about my ego. I got a feeling that now my home belongs to a great painter, I couldn’t find my place in his home. You never respected my work from the day you start earning fame and money, you never asked me about how I am doing. You never show interest in my work. You didn’t offer me to quit job for starting my career as an artist. You were doing all your duties as husband may be, but love, care, respect was missing dear. We are with each other since last 20 years, and you are aware that I never ask you for anything. I mean your time, your passion, you love was enough for me. Going out for dinner, expensive gifts, tours may a way to express your love, but it’s the ultimate love.”

“Maya, maybe I have done all whatever you have just said. But trust me, I have never ever thought, I am hurting you so much. You never conveyed me all this before. Don’t you think its injustice to me. If I didn’t realize the same, why didn’t you make me aware? You are not even giving me a chance to accept & realize what went wrong. You were not so reserved before. I always feel that you are happy in your life.”

“Tarun, You thought it is “my life& your life”. Yes, I am happy with my life in my space, but I couldn’t find my space in “our life”. I am not denying I keep everything in mind. I should have told this much before. I was about to tell you, but I was afraid that you will change my mind. Many times, I thought I should run away from you, but then I need to keep my promise, that I will be with you through all you thick and thins. Now you have achieved what you want and its right time for me to take my decision.”

“Maya, you always gonna be my wife, whatever happens. Don’t do this. Stay back. I promise you that things will be changed. How can you be so ruthless to me?”

“Tarun, do not misunderstand me. I am not going because you are wrong & I am right. It is not so. I respect your love & care for me, but let me go. I want to live my life in my way now. I am not taking any legal separation from you. I really find it funny, that misunderstandings between life partners lead to divorce and then they want legal separation with mutual understanding.”

If one fine day, both of us really want to be together, let us keep our minds & doors open for each other. I am not leaving with any grudges in mind. I genuinely need this break for myself. I know that, once upon a time, we were really in love, may be that love will revive one day. Don’t you think, that I deserve to live my own life? Things would have been different or not I don’t know, but yes I am sorry, I should have shared my feeling & thoughts with you earlier. Yes, I am being selfish now, but I am also a human being, have my own desires & philosophies for my life, my satisfaction. I want to think about myself now. Let me go Tarun.”

Tarun is really shocked, he is not even know how to react to this. He knows that Maya has made up her mind, & she is very composed, matured woman. She will never take such intense decision, impatiently. He is still trying to read her mind & convince her,

“But, what you will do? Where are you going? For a moment, I accept your decision, though I have not liked it. But let me know, where are you gonna stay? If you need a break and live alone for some days, I will make all arrangements for you. You just promise me that you will be in touch & let me know your whereabouts, agree?”

“Thanks, but I have done all the arrangements. I am not taking any short break &going out for a tour, even I don’t know when I will be back or will I be back or not. But I will be in touch with you, and let you know about me. In case of any emergency, we can always bank on each other. And thanks for offering me your help but I have managed at my own, right now I have sufficient savings.”

“Yes, I understand, you always have been financially independent. But you didn’t tell me where are you going?”

“I am going back to my home town. I know, now nobody is there but… anyways. I got an offer to work with a NGO there. They want me to help special children to pursue our art. I am not a very big artist, but at least, I can share my experience with them. I can give them the approach and perception to look at the art. I hope this art will add some colors to their lives”

“I wish, I could ….. anyways. You are really going for a good cause. I am proud of you. But still I feel… I will come with you Maya. We both will be together.”

“Tarun, don’t be so impulsive. Do not make your decisions without giving a thought. You also know that how much efforts you have taken to come to this position. You have to go miles, nothing is over yet, not your career, not our relationship. Let us not increase the gap between us by staying together. If you come with me, we both will live together, but with a guilt in our minds. Let us not do this.”

“Maya, promise me that you won’t avoid me. I will be coming there to meet you, whenever I get time, please allow me”

“Tarun, do not misunderstand me. It is not easy for me also to take such decision. But I really feel that this is the right decision, I made for both of us. Don’t make any conclusions right now, time is best solution. If you really feel to meet me, call me, we will decide then and please do not neglect my words, think on it. Each one of us, come to face people like Nisha in our lives, not only celebs or artist, but anyone. We should know the boundaries of any relationship. In professional world, people should always remember you for your work and credit of your successes to be given to your skills, not anything else.”

“I understand, but still not able to believe that you are really leaving me behind”

“Hmm, it is a fact, accept it, and take care. I won’t be there; so be you own critic. Try to find out what’s missing in our relationship, what is missing in your paintings too. Just think, when did you created something that had made you fall in love with yourself, you will get your answer. All the best. Good night”

The next morning Maya is altogether ready to start her new life. Tarun, is lost in his thought and suddenly he realized that, Maya is walking towards the door, he jus thought, she is looking beautiful in a simple saree of his favorite color. He knows very well that Maya an artist is leaving their home, just not his wife.

The house is empty now, and Tarun is also feeling empty inside.

• “Maya” by Sheetal Joshi